You Say It's Your Birthday...

I turned 34 today. Nobody has asked me if I feel any older or different yet, but I'll go ahead & answer anyway. Nope. I still feel the same. I'm still just as tired & worn out as I was when I was 33, 32, 31, etc. Having kids ages a person! In fact, I've discovered that the number of kids one has is inversely proportional to one's energy level. I've been feeling about 65 years old for a few years now.

I suppose I'm safely in my mid-thirties now. Thirty is a big deal. Then I consider 31, 32, & 33 to be early-thirties, 34, 35, & 36 to be mid-thirties, and 37, 38, & 39 to be late-thirties. I now have just a tad under 6 years to go before I hit 40. I think I should begin planning for my mid-life crisis right now so I won't have to stress about it later. Actually, since the average dude in America now lives just over 75 years, my life's midpoint will occur at 37.5, just 3.5 years from now. That's good...that means by the time I turn 40, I'll have my mid-life crisis behind me!

Let's see...what are my options? Leave my wife for a girl half my age? Never. Hop on a plane & travel to Australia? Possibly. Dye my hair? Probably not...with less than 4 years to go, my hair is still 99% brown. Buy a Corvette? Hmmmm...... I've always wanted a ca. 1965 Corvette Stingray convertible in bright red. I think that might just hit the spot! I guess I should start saving a few pennies here & there so I'll be ready for this purchase when the time comes. There's no worse feeling in the world than attempting to buy a ca. 1965 Corvette Stingray convertible in bright red, only to discover you're a few dollars short. It would suck to have to suddenly downgrade to a Chevelle or something.

Anyway, I'll shut up for now & find something more productive to do, such as cracking my knuckles or picking my nose. Tonight I'm going with my family to eat at my favorite restaurant, and I shall be having a margarita or two. Cheers!