Total Randomness

Since the last time I posted, I've celebrated the 9th anniversary of my wedding. That's almost a decade! Unreal. It's been a wonderful 9 years, and I'm a lucky sumbitch to have such an awesome wife. Yes, I'm still on a taco high (my wife just made the best tacos I've ever ingested), but these are my true thoughts.

I also lost some weight a couple of days ago; I got a haircut & clipped my fingernails. I'm still 220 pounds of pure flab, but at least my hair doesn't look like a mushroom struck by lightning anymore. And I can play my bass without my fingernails making "plink, plink, plink" sounds on the strings. If there was some way to stunt the growth of my nails, I'd be all over that.

I have a couple of kids to bathe now, so I'm done blogging for now.

Today's Time Warp & Great Food

It's a confusing week. Monday was Memorial Day, so I didn't go back to work until Tuesday. To mix things up a bit, my daughter went to gymnastics on Wednesday evening rather than Thursday.

So......

On Wednesday, it felt like Tuesday and Thursday at the same time. It's like I was in some trippy time warp.

I guess that's why my head is screaming for a bottle of Aleve right now.

My wife is cooking some kind of barbecue concoction at the moment, and it smells GREAT. I'm a lucky guy to have a hot wife who's an excellent cook. Without her I'd probably be eating moldy bread & spewing hot vomit like a geyser.

I Need a Haircut

My hair looks like a mushroom that's been struck by lightning, so I really need to get a trim. I started letting my hair grow longer a couple of years ago...not '80s hair band long, but just a little longer & shaggier than it used to be. I guess my thought was that I needed to have a bit of an unkempt look since I already play the part of a rock musician on the weekends. However, that logic was completely flawed from the start since my fat-ass gut hangs over my belt, thus canceling out any attempt at using my hair to look cool. Any hope at hiding said gut with my bass guitar is canceled out by my double chin making a prominent appearance below my face. And this dewlap of mine is only accentuated by the fact that most of the time I'm on a stage, so the audience (and their cameras) get a good view of it from below.

The wise thing for me to do would be to lose weight. But what fun is life without pizza, chocolate chip cookies, enchiladas, & fried chicken fingers? I could simply cut back on those foods a bit & actually work out, but I'm entirely too lazy & lack willpower to do that. Besides, I exercise every day at work when I climb the stairs to get to my cube. That should count for something, right? After all, I could use the elevator instead. Maybe I'm not as lazy as I thought. Or maybe I just don't want to get stuck between the first & second floors, which the elevator is fond of doing to unsuspecting co-workers.

Yeah, so, I need a haircut.

I Need a Photo on this Blog

Okay, I feel the need to post a photo here to break up some of this text. So, here it is:

I took this photo a week or so ago when I looked out my office window & noticed these men kicking back in the parking lot of the hotel next door. I thought it was pretty humorous. My guess is that they were waiting for somebody to check out. But I'd think the lobby is a more comfortable place to wait.

Random Thoughts on a Tuesday Morning

So this morning as I was driving to work, I was behind an SUV with a personalized license plate. The plate read "2N1MOM." I had to wonder...is this person a hermaphrodite?

The other day I was heading home from work, and I noticed that the McDonald's on one of the surface streets near the interstate was having a new sign installed. I almost ran off the road. You see, the old sign had been destroyed by Hurricane Gustav back in August of '08. All that was left of the sign was the top portion of the arches and the frame itself. The sign was pretty much hollow. In January of this year, I decided to keep an eye on that sign as I passed it every day. I wanted to see how long it would take before it was replaced/repaired. Every afternoon as I creeped along the interstate at 5mph, I'd check out the McDonald's sign. After a few months of this, I determined that whenever the new sign went up, it would be a huge deal to me since it would end my little daily watch. Well, it finally happened. Last week on my way home, there it was...a shiny new McDonald's sign. I did a little celebration dance in the driver's seat. The funny thing is that the new sign went up just in time for the start of the 2009 hurricane season!

Okay, time for me to get to work. Yeah, I'm a slacker.

So This is Blogging...

So this is what it's like to have a blog. Wow. Now I get to share my innermost thoughts with everybody in the world! Be afraid. Be very afraid. 

Lemme get this out of the way...I don't think like most people. I think of things, start over-analyzing them, and form opinions that the average person would find rather strange. For example, I think school zones are ridiculous and completely illogical. Now, hold on! Here's my reasoning. A kid is (or should be) taught never to cross the street alone when he/she is little. When older, he/she is (or should be) taught to carefully look both ways since traffic usually has the right of way. However, in school zones, it's completely the opposite. Traffic has to slow down & yield to the kids! Aren't we confusing our kids by doing this? What if a kid thinks that every time he/she wants to cross the street the traffic will slow down? And then he/she gets flattened like a cockroach on a tile floor because the traffic on Main Street isn't slowing down?

See, that's the way I think. Pretty weird, huh?

You'll find that I have a lot to say about traffic & driving. Since I spend such a huge part of my life hanging out in my car & watching the antics of the other drivers, I have much to say. But I'll save that for another time.

Okay, I've just about completed my first blog post. It was everything I ever dreamed it would be, but now I have to get back to reality. Having a wife, three kids, a full-time job, and being a musician in a band makes my life about 98.735% reality, which doesn't leave a lot of time to be blogging. In fact, my mother-in-law just took two of the kids to a birthday party, and my wife is going to Target with the third kid. Great opportunity for me to blog, right? Nope! I'm about to sacrifice myself to the 140-degree heat & 200% humidity of South Louisiana, all in the noble attempt to cut my grass. Due to the extreme weather conditions here, it becomes necessary to cut grass every other day in order to prevent a rainforest from sprouting up in my yard. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a bit (which is another weird thing about me), but it is hot as hell out there, and my grass is approaching two feet tall. I hope my lawn mower can handle it.